The funeral was a testament to all things Presbyterian. And, I suppose... that is exactly what the deceased would have wanted.
If....
If your faith is built on cold words mumbled in unison,
If your leader is fired with nothing more then passion for the bake sale tallies,
If your songs of faith and joy are sung as a liturgical dirge,
If your faith is nothing more then a place to go on a Sunday morning...
Can we at least make your ministers take a diction class?
Yesterday found me sitting in the cold hard pews of a church I believed I had escaped as a toddler, watching a cold faced man recite the death rites over the body of a women who had nearly reached the century mark. Vulcan sat close at my side – attempting to hold my hands while steadying an ancient prayerbook to a disapproving god.
The deceased had lived her life with the precision and determination of any good Presbyterian. Black was black, white was white – and all other colors were to be shunned in fear of muddying the straight path to salvation. Her death followed the same rigid rules as her life.
I found myself wondering how any would find peace or closure in a ceremony completely impersonal and remote. A bumbling minister who could only find the time to read the simple obituary typed by a grieving daughter.
Contradictions and confusions, double talk and back talk. “All are welcomed” - provided they are just like us. I find myself moving further and further away from the beliefs of my family, as the years go on the words they proffer fill me with little but a cold and empty feeling deep within me.
Another branch trimmed off the family tree... another step my life takes away from the past... another assurance that I'm not as they are... and perhaps, thats alright.
May she find a peace she never had in this life – and may those scarred by the iron bars of her convictions walk with a freer step.
I've been away from the forge for a bit, Vulcan and I are getting healthy after months of a plague right out of Hades' dreams. I think I'll be spending more time here... I have a lot to figure out.
